


Hold On

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, Episode Tag, Episode: s04e20 Evidence of Things Not Seen, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-15
Updated: 2006-10-15
Packaged: 2019-05-31 08:11:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15115331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: Bill stroked her hair, wishing he did not care about the protectee as much as he did.





	Hold On

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

The sound of his wife in distress woke Leo close to two in the morning. He jumped out of bed, rushing to the bathroom as fast as his legs could carry him. Bill, CJ’s primary Secret Service agent, was right behind him. They found the Press Secretary in a very precarious position, practically hysterical.

“Oh God help me. I'm bleeding. Something is wrong with the baby.”

“Dear God.”

Leo grabbed a bathrobe, which Bill wrapped around CJ, who was nearly naked, and he carried her out of the room. Leo followed, stopping to wake the nanny. He told Mitch where they were going and he did not know when they would be back. He rushed down to the waiting SUV and they peeled off into the dark night.

“Calm down CJ; it’s going to be OK.” He held her close.

“Something is wrong. Don’t let something happen to our baby again.”

Leo was not there when CJ had the first miscarriage. It was right about this time…the doctor called it late term. He was in Manchester and she was all alone. The doctors told them she was healthy and getting pregnant again would not be difficult. The McGarrys walked on eggshells when she was pregnant with Timothy and while Leo recalled a few tense moments, the pregnancy and birth of their son was normal. CJ was pregnant again within five months of Timothy’s birth, a little celebration sex on Election Night. This pregnancy had been problem free. There were no dizzy spells, no lingering morning sickness, and nothing out of the ordinary. Until tonight.

A simple pissing contest between competitive coworkers turned into a landmine. Someone shot at the White House tonight…Ron Butterfield called it suicide by cop. Toby threw CJ and Nora to the ground. He and Will held them there until the shooting stopped. The Secret Service burst into the pressroom afterwards and removed everyone with their usual gusto. It was not until CJ nearly had a fainting spell outside of the Oval Office that anyone remembered she was five months pregnant.

The doctor came in to check her out. He thought she was fine but told her they would take her to the emergency room if she felt unwell. CJ refused, said she felt OK. Leo wanted to insist but she had experienced enough traumas for one night. He sent her back to poker night as he got the wheels turning on the second call to Chegorin. He should have been more vigilant. How many times would the job come before his family?

“Leo, don’t leave me!” CJ reached out for him as ER doctors put her on a gurney and slid the curtain closed.

“38 year old woman, five months pregnant experiencing bleeding. Nurse, please alert the OBGYN on call. What happened Mrs. McGarry?”

“I was fine.” CJ sobbed. “I thought I peed myself, so I rushed…but it was blood. Don’t let my baby die again. Please.”

“We are going to do our best. Did anything out of the ordinary happen today?”

Leo took a sharp breath as they hooked CJ up to multiple monitors. It appeared as if the bleeding had stopped but the nurse gave her a brief examination for vaginal tears.

“She was thrown to the ground.” Leo said. “Someone shot at us tonight. The Secret Service picked her up but they are not always delicate.”

“How do you feel Mrs. McGarry? Was there dizziness? Did you have aches and pains? Were there possible early contractions?”

“No.” CJ shook her head. “Well, I felt a bit dizzy after it all happened but it passed in a few minutes.”

“Was there any spotting or discharge prior or this incident?”

“No.”

“We saw the doctor 10 days ago and everything was fine.” Leo said.

“According to the fetal monitor it looks that way still.” He did some pressings on her abdomen that were slightly uncomfortable but not painful. “The baby’s heartbeat and brainwaves are normal and it feels as if she is in a good position for your gestation. There are no signs of trauma or distress.”

“You don’t just spontaneously bleed!” CJ exclaimed.

“Calm down ma'am. Your heart rate and blood pressure are going to skyrocket and that is no good for the baby. We’re going to admit you.”

“Why?” Leo asked.

“To monitor the situation. The bleeding causes some concern along with the trauma of tonight’s events. We can have her in the secure wing Mr. McGarry.”

“For how long?”

“36 hours…just to be sure. The doctor will reexamine her tomorrow; do another sonogram. Run a battery of tests. Bleeding doesn’t necessarily indicate something is wrong. Still, one can never be too careful.”

“Oh God.” CJ sobbed.

The doctor left them alone for a few moments and Leo studied his wife. He had never seen her so undone. She had been here before though and the pain and fear was something he could never truly imagine. Leo was smart enough to know he could not even guess what she was going through.

“CJ, try to relax. I know it sounds stupid coming from me but keeping you is just a precaution. You saw the monitor…the baby looks OK.”

“This is all my fault. I am so sorry.”

“Don’t you dare apologize to me.” Leo held her face in his hands. “Someone shot at you tonight baby. If Toby wouldn’t have…I don’t want to think about it. Take some deep breaths before you hyperventilate.”

CJ tried to do as he asked. She closed her eyes and more tears fell.

“I know you're scared baby; I'm scared too. No matter what we are going to get through this.”

“What if…?”

“”Shh, no what ifs. Just hold on to me.”

CJ nodded, clutching his hand. His other hand rested on her stomach. He wished the baby would move or give some indication that she was still with them. The early days of CJ’s first miscarriage ran through Leo’s head like a slideshow. It made his head hurt. The doctor returned, telling them that CJ’s room was ready.

“Go with the doctor. I have to call Ron Butterfield.”

“I don’t want to be alone.” CJ was sobbing again.

“You know that Bill is going to be with you the whole time I can't be. He will never leave your side.”

CJ looked at him standing in the doorway. He was his usual stoic self, but compassion showed in his chocolate brown eyes. She knew as long as he was there she was safe. Nodding, CJ let them wheel her out to the elevator. Leo went outside to use his cell phone. He bummed a smoke from an EMS as it began to drizzle. Pressing three, he waited for someone to answer the call.

***

Upstairs on the seventh floor CJ managed to calm down some. They once again hooked her up to a fetal monitor and one for her heart. The nurse took her blood pressure, commenting it was a bit high before leaving her alone. One of the nurses suggested she try to sleep but CJ didn’t think it was possible. The room was so eerily quiet and she despised hospitals. She needed to talk.

“Bill?”

“Yes ma'am?”

“Please sit with me.”

The Secret Service agent pulled a chair up to the hospital bed. He was not overly fond of hospitals either but he would be fine. She held out her hand and he took it.

“Did I hear rain out there?” she asked.

“Yes ma'am. You should listen to the nurse Mrs. McGarry and try to get some rest.”

“I'm too frightened to sleep. I wish I could turn back the clock and never go into that pressroom.”

“Tonight was supposed to be completely uneventful.” He replied.

“If something happens to the baby Leo will never forgive me.”

“Ma'am…”

“You weren’t here, when I was pregnant the first time. He blamed me when the baby died.”

“I'm sure he didn’t. It had to be a painful for both of you…those things are. Don’t talk about that right now. I'm sure it is not good for your pressure or heart rate.”

CJ nodded, turning quiet again.

“You don’t have children, do you?” she asked a few minutes later.

“No.”

“I wasn’t even sure I ever wanted to be a mom. My mom died when I was young and subsequent stepmothers were not exactly role models. Leo was the one who even brought up children when he proposed…we had never talked about it before. I love Tim and I love this baby, it’s just that I never really imagined motherhood and a busy career.”

“Your job is very busy Mrs. McGarry. It doesn’t leave many extra hours in the day.”

“Yeah. Mitch is a godsend. I just want to be a good mom Bill. I could be making crucial mistakes and not even know it.”

“Why are you thinking like that? I have seen you with your son and you are a good mom. He and this new baby will be very lucky kids.”

“We’re going to name her Charlie if it’s a little girl. Charlotte Louise. We wanted to name her after Charlie but Leo also wanted his mother's name in there. I haven’t picked out boys names because I am stuck on having a girl.”

“So she can look like you?” Bill asked.

“I don’t know. So I can do the things with her I never got to do with my mother. My whole family, except for my brothers, is gone Bill. My family with Leo is all I have left.”

“Your father…”

“Is resting comfortably in a nursing home, losing more of his memories everyday.” She took a ragged breath, silently begging the tears to hold off. “I don’t know if I can take another heartache.”

“I wish you weren’t so sad. Just try to rest.”

CJ nodded, thinking maybe she should get some sleep. She was coming down from the adrenaline rush; she was exhausted.

“I'm still so scared Bill.” She whispered.

“I know Mrs. McGarry. If something were truly wrong, I think they would tell you. Please don’t worry anymore.”

He sat on the edge of the hospital bed; CJ rested her head on his chest. Bill stroked her hair and wished he were not as close to the protectee as he’d grown to be.

“Just don’t leave me.”

“I promise I won't. I will stay until Mr. McGarry returns or until you fall asleep.”

***

When CJ opened her eyes, Leo was sitting in the hospital chair. It was a rainy morning and she stared out the window. Leo smiled at her.

“Hey baby.”

“Hey. Where is Bill?”

“Off duty as of 8am. Sylvie is outside now. Do you feel alright?”

“Yeah. I slept pretty well.”

“You certainly did.”

When Leo came back to the hospital room he found his wife curled against her agent. Bill nodded at the Chief of Staff, carefully placing CJ on the pillows to sleep.

“She’s fine Mr. McGarry. I’ll just return to my post.”

“Thank you Bill.”

“Yes sir.”

“He stayed until you fell asleep.” Leo told her.

“He promised he would. Did you see the doctor?”

“The fetal monitors say the baby is fine but you are not going home yet. They want to keep you one whole day to be sure. Considering what happened I think it is a good idea.”

“I won't fight it. I just want her to be OK.”

He took her hand, holding it to his lips.

“I was really scared last night.”

“You? Leo, I thought we lost her. I felt like…I wanted to die.”

“What happened in the pressroom was not your fault Claudia Jean.”

“I should have been thinking about the baby.”

“Stop it…as if you could predict being shot at. You are going to be alright and so is she. Just get some rest and you will be back on your feet in no time.”

He stood, kissing her forehead.

“I hate to do this but I have to go to the White House. There are some things on the front burner that cannot be ignored.”

“I certainly did not expect you to sit here and look at me all day. I'm hungry.”

“The doctor said you can have real food. How about I have someone bring you a cinnamon bagel?”

CJ smiled; that sounded like heaven. She kissed her husband again.

“Come back tonight.” She said.

“Of course, and I will call you later. I love you.”

“I love you too. Bye.”

As Leo walked out, Sylvie walked in. She was smiling.

“Good morning Mrs. McGarry. How are you feeling?”

“OK. I'm hungry.”

“Yeah, Mr. McGarry is having someone bring you a bagel ma'am. I will be outside all day. Agent Sampson will join me at three with Agent Grayson relieving me at six.”

“Alright.”

Sylvie placed a bag in the chair.

“Books and some other things from home to keep you company. Call me if you need to.”

“I'm fine. I think I am going to doze off.”

“Yes ma'am.”

***

Another doctor came to see CJ in the afternoon. She had CNN on low volume as she read Marie Claire. She had spoken with Nora earlier to gauge what was happening at the White House. The shooting was still big news and there was plenty of speculation as to why the Press Secretary was not in today.

“I assured everyone that you were alright. Just taking the rest of the week off. How do you feel?”

“OK, I guess. Did Josh hire the Republican?”

“Yeah, he’s cute. Too bad we have to haze him. He starts next Monday.”

“CJ, I'm Dr. Salih, the resident OBGYN. I'm here to examine you.”

“OK.” She put down her magazine.

“How are you feeling?”

“Pretty good.”

The doctors pulled the covers back and lifted her gown.

“Would you like someone else in the room during the examination?” she asked.

“I don’t think my agent signed on for this. I'm fine.”

The examination was quick and relatively painless. She hooked up the sonogram monitor. 

“Are you ready to see your baby?” 

“Just don’t tell me the sex…it’s a surprise.”

The doctor smiled and nodded. She squeezed gel on CJ’s stomach and the Press Secretary looked at the monitor.

“OK Mrs. McGarry, there is an arm. Your baby is curled up this afternoon.”

“Is she OK?”

“Listen to that heartbeat; very strong. The baby is a very good size. There is the head and an ear. You're pretty close to 24 weeks.”

“The doctor says I am due around August 4th. My son was a few weeks early so I don’t know what to expect.”

“She, and I am only calling her that because you did, is a good size. She looks good.”

“Oh thank God.”

“You had a bit of a scare last night?” the doctor asked.

“A big scare. I thought I was miscarrying. I lost my first baby.”

“You have a little fighter on your hands. The attending told me there was no bleeding or discharge this morning. As long as it stays that way, I will release you tomorrow morning.”

“Can you tell me why I was bleeding?” CJ asked.

“I wish I could. All I can think of was a reaction to trauma; a way to get you to hospital. It worked.”

“Can I return to work Monday?”

“Yes, but rest this weekend. Everything looks as it should.”

CJ started to cry. She knew they were tears of happiness but she quickly brushed them away.

“Thank you so much Dr. Salih.”

“You're welcome. You can clean up and lunch should arrive shortly.”

CJ went to the bathroom, closing the door. Once alone she thanked God and prayed for the health of her baby. She would also call Mitch to see how Tim was today. It was time to let go of the breath she held for 12 hours.

***

“Good evening Mrs. McGarry.”

“Hey Bill, did you enjoy your afternoon?”

“Yes ma'am. I did some gun training and ran 5 miles.”

“Sounds invigorating.”

“It certainly was ma'am.”

“What do you have behind your back Mister?” she asked.

“I thought you would never ask. This is from Josh, Toby, Nora, Donna, and Will.”

Bill put the milkshake on the tray over her bed.

“Wow, I hope they didn’t go broke chipping in.”

The agent smirked. He told her it was dulce de leche from the Georgetown Diner, her favorite.

“You just made my night Bill. Thank you.”

“You're welcome. So everything is OK?”

“The doctors think so. Do you wanna see something?”

“Sure.”

He came over to the bed and CJ handed him the sonogram.

“There is our baby. I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl but she is healthy.”

“Is that a fist?” Bill asked.

“Yes.” CJ laughed. “There is her head.”

“That’s pretty amazing.” He handed the picture back. “I'm so glad you're better.”

CJ nodded, sipping her milkshake. Bill smiled.

“I'm going to be right outside if you need anything ma'am.”

“OK. Bill?”

“Yes, Mrs. McGarry.”

“Thanks. It is not always easy, you know. Some days I can't even tell you which way is up. You were there when I needed you…you're always there.”

“I take pride in my job. I love being a Secret Service agent.”

“They are so lucky to have you.” CJ replied. “I'm very lucky to have you.”

She kissed his cheek and Bill went back to his post.

***

“I'm sorry I was gone so long.”

Leo came back to the hospital at 9pm. Visiting hours were over but on the seventh floor registered visitors were allowed until midnight. This wing was for celebrities and business rarely ceased.

“No, its fine. I gotta tell you, minus being trapped in a hospital room, this day off was not as bad as I imagined. Simon was excellent at the briefings.”

“Yeah. How are you feeling?”

He kissed her, commenting she tasted like caramel.

“Bill smuggled in a milkshake from the gang. Hey look, I have another picture of the baby.”

Leo looked at the sonogram with a proud papa smile.

“I can't tell if it’s a boy or a girl.” He said.

“She was curled up, the doctor couldn’t either.”

“And everything was OK today?” He asked, plopping down in the chair and taking off his shoes. He had a long day and he would have to go home without his wife tonight. Still, he needed to sleep in a bed. Sleeping in that chair last night almost killed him. They were quite comfortable for an hour or two but anything more was torturous.

“I rested and read. The doctor said I am OK to return to work on Monday.”

Leo was not overly fond of the idea but he did not want to fight. If CJ were healthy he wouldn’t stop her from doing her job…that led to more problems and stress.

“If you feel up to it.” he replied.

“OK. I'm glad you're here. Come up here and sit with me.”

CJ pulled him onto the bed laughing. Leo laughed too, softly kissing her lips. He held her just as Bill had last night. He should have been there but procedure had to be done.

“Something is on your mind.” She said. “Is it work?”

“No. I just remember how much you didn’t want agents when we first gave them to you.”

“A little over a year ago. I'm used to Bill and Sylvie now. The other agents are nice too. Ron did a really good job of picking them to my taste. Wow, that sounded way too Gone With the Wind. You know what I meant.”

“Yeah. You and Bill are doing really good together.”

“Mmm hmm. You smell good Mr. McGarry. It was hard to sleep last night without smelling you.”

“Maybe I will leave my shirt here with you tonight.”

“That sounds great; you better not be joking. Is something the matter with Bill?”

“What, no. He is a top-notch agent. I'm just glad you're comfortable with all the changes.”

“I did not have a lot of choice. Some things you don’t go to war for. Now, no more talking. Just hold on to me.”

“You got it.”

Leo traced her expanding belly with his fingers. CJ sighed, relaxing in his arms. 

“I can't wait to have you back home with me. I miss you Claudia Jean. Everyone sends their love.”

She spoke with almost everyone today, even Abbey called to see if CJ wanted her to come there to talk to the doctor. She assured the First Lady that everything was fine; they were keeping her for observation. A visit by the First Lady, even to the secured wing would shut GW down.

“The thought of spending the entire weekend cuddled in bed with you sounds like paradise. A dream, but paradise.” CJ said.

“Actually, I'm taking the weekend off to do just that.”

“What? Are you serious?”

“Yeah. I thought you, me and Tim could have a family weekend. We deserve it. Every family deserves time together. They say it is going to be rainy but it will clear up by Sunday evening. I could grill some kabobs.”

“I love it.”

He kissed her forehead and CJ held his hand. They were quiet as they held each other, listening to the rain slide down the window and watching as Larry King interviewed a famous singer just returning from Bette Ford.

“Who would play me in the movie of our life?” Leo asked.

CJ laughed. He rarely asked her things like that, silly things. She loved it when he did.

“Um…living or dead?”

“Living please.”

“I like Martin Sheen. He would look good standing with Joan Allen; she would play me.”

“Joan Allen is very pretty.”

“No looking at Joan Allen. I love you Leopold.”

They kissed and CJ stroked his cheek.

“I love you too. I want you to rest but I am going to stay just a while longer and hold onto you.”

“Good.”

CJ cuddled close as Leo got comfortable on the bed. Her belly pressed on his side and they were comforted by the feeling of each other and their child.

***


End file.
